What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
Easy, the dirtbag's hangin'  in a different place!
The vacuum cleaner won't break down.
Nothing, they both suck

How are HD's like Hound Dogs?
They both mark their spots...and like to ride in the back of pickups.

What's the difference between an HD and a Hound Dog?
The Hound Dog can get in the back of the pickup under it's own power.

Why did the Harley Rider cross the street?
a.) To get away from the guy in the red leather pants and white alpinena boots.
b.) To help the beemer guy kick his bike OVER!
c.) To wave at all the Dick Heads who complain about people not waving to them!

Steve Pierson

FLHTSCUI == "Feels Like Half The Specified CUbic Inches"

HDs get you there cuz you can always find any parts needed along the road, having fallen off other hds...

Just saw in the paper the other day that 96% of all Harley's ever made are still on the road.
The other 4% made it home OK.

Michael Lipke

What do you say to a guy with an I.Q. of 35
"Nice Harley"

Why do stupid motorcyclists like leather fringe on their handlebars and clothing?
So they can tell if they're moving.

Three bikers are about to be executed. One's a Harley rider, one's a Honda rider and one's a BMW rider. The guard brings the Harley rider forward and the executioner asks if he has any last requests. He says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! ... Aim! ..."
Suddenly the Harley rider yells, "EARTHQUAKE!" Everyone is startled and looks around as the Harley rider escapes.

The guard brings the Honda rider forward and the executioner asks if he has any last requests. He say no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! ... Aim! ..."

Suddenly the Honda rider yells, "TORNADO!" Once again, everyone is startled and looks around, while the Honda rider silently slips away.

By now the BMW rider has it all figured out, and the guard brings him forward. The executioner asks if he has any last requests, he says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! ... Aim! ..." and the BMW rider yells,

"FIRE!"

Why Motorcycles are better than Women

Motorcycles don`t get pregnant.
Motorcycles don`t have parents.
Your motorcycle won`t judge your friends.
Your motorcycle will let you know if something is wrong.
If your motorcycle is noisy, you can buy a muffler.
Motorcycles don`t care about how many other motorcycles you have ridden.
Your motorcycle won`t care if you have a poster of your fantasy Motorcycle.
If your motorcycle has high Kilo's, you can trade it in on a new one.
You can trade your big motorcycle in for 2 smaller one's.
You can be proud of your motorcycle regardless of the model.
Your parents won`t keep in touch with your old motorcycle after you dump it.
Your motorcycle won't mind if you are tired after a long ride.
Your motorcycle don't complain whenyou want a night out alone with other motorcycles.
If your motorcycle doesn`t look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can`t get a disease from a motorcycle.
Your motorcycle doesn`t care how heavy you are.
If your motorcycle is cold you can choke it.
You can keep photos of your old motorcycles.
You only have to ride your motorcycle when you want to.

Why Motorcycles are better than Men
A motorcycle can go for more than one ride in an hour.
Motorcycles never develop spare tires.
Motorcycles last longer.
You don`t have to kick your motorcycle to get it going.
You won`t have to put your motorcycle through universaty.
If your motorcycle smokes you can do something about it.
Motorcycles don`t care about how many other motorcycles you have ridden.
When riding, you and your motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
One motorcycle will satisfy you every time.
Your motorcycle won`t ogle other motorcycles.
Motorcycles don`t care about breast size.
If your motorcycle is too soft you can get new shocks
You don`t have to drink beer before your motorcycle looks appealing.
Your motorcycle won`t beat you or try to make you feel inferior.
You can ride a motorcycle as long as you want and it won`t get limp.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride when you do.
Motorcycles don`t insult you if you are a novice.
Your motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other motorcycles.
Motorcycles don`t make you late.
Your motorcycle won`t complain when you use protection.
You can`t get a disease from a motorcycle.
Your motorcycle won`t care if you fake it.
Motorcycles are always ready to stop when you are.
Your motorcycle has a built in vibrator.
Your motorcycle doesn`t have to show off in front of other motorcycles.
Your motorcycle won`t lie to you.
Your motorcycle doesn`t care how heavy you are.
In the morning, your motorcycle won`t poke you in the back when it wants to go for a ride.
Your motorcycle won`t shrink when it`s cold.
If your motorcycle can`t fire up, you can just replace the battery.
You don`t have to cook for your motorcycle.
Your motorcycle can`t ride around behind your back.
Your motorcycle would rather go for a ride than watch sports.
Your motorcycle won't mind going for another ride.
You only have to ride your motorcycle when you want to.
Your motorcycle won`t go for rides by itself.
If baldness occurs, you can replace the tires.
Motorcycles don`t snore.